Friday 8 May 2009

Healer... heal thy self


I performed a yarn intervention the other day.

Yes! A yarn intervention. Every knitter should have an emergency contact person (yes, GK -- a Yarn Sponsor) when they are in the midst of a knitting crisis.

Wednesday P.M. ... An emergency distress e-mail is sent out by my good friend Woolly Mammoth (to Guerrilla Knitter & myself); but, alas, I am arm deep in the oven trying to save an under baked quiche. Luckily Guerrilla is more techno wired-up than myself. "Rebel," she exclaims through her cell phone, "... you need to call Woolly ... it's yarn intervention time... it's an emergency and I have to walk into a meeting just now." Could you say no? This is the stuff MITZVAHS are made of... Baruch Hashem! So, two minutes later, with oven mitts removed (you know it's hard to dial in those things!), I'm on the phone with Woolly. The details are this: W was in Ottawa, great yarn, divine pattern, but WRONG great yarn for pattern. Does Woolly do gauge swatches? NO! (and I quote: "I have perfect gauge, I don't ever do a swatch.") Yes, and she never blocks either... enough said!

So, how does one actually perform a yarn intervention, you might ask.

Does one force the crisis (not yet forsaken) individual to take a good long look at their increasingly abundant stash, due solely to incorrect purchasing and label reading? Perhaps.

Does one hold their hand sweetly and let them cry a cathartic yarn howl? Perhaps.

Or does one patiently go through the label instructions: located sweetly right there on the back of just about every gosh darn blessed label for all to see -- except for those who forgot their bifocals in their gosh darn Ottawa hotel room? Perhaps.

Every yarn intervention should be treated on a case by case basis. You must see yourself as a facilitator in this situation. This is about yarn, sticks, instructions and the psyche to balance all three in a holistic creative way.

I found out that when dealing with sweet sweet Woolly, yarn intervention means SHE'S JUST TOO LAZY TO DO THE MATH! So that's me. The human yarn abacus..... what a treat.

In the end, I sent her to Romni Wools for therapy. And Woolly was kind enough to buy me new set of 4.5 mm dpns ...ain't that just the sweetest thing you ever heard! Problem was, they were the wrong size... so I went back to Romni this A.M.

Confession: Now I need a yarn intervention.
I went to their sale section as Woolly mentioned they had some variegated Butterfly Cotton on sale... that was dangerous ... I can't even bring myself to relate to you all the $$$ I just spent... even if it is a phenomenal deal... 14 skeins later... well... you know....