No one is more shocked than I that my first born is turning 12 years old.
It seems like just yesterday that I composed an e-mail to Mayor Mel Lastman making note that, although he had called in the army to shovel away the snow from Toronto, they had somehow managed to miss my street. And as I was in my 15th month of pregnancy
(at least that's how it felt to me -- what can I say, when I'm pregnant my math skills wane) would he mind sending them around to my house.Just a few short weeks later, my Shabbat baby was born. A girl. A bit of a surprise. Turns out every single one of the bubbies, UPS drivers, bank tellers, and pseudo-psychics that felt they just HAD to tell me that from the way I was carrying >> I was definitely going to have a son. And every single one of them was wrong. HA! 100% of those surveyed predicted boy. Funny enough, in the only dream I ever had of my future child when I was pregnant... she was a girl. So, ha ha ha. The only thing was, no one had asked my opinion. I just knew.
Now, here we are just days away from Zoe's 'orthodox' Bat Mitzvah.
According to Orthodox Judaism, a boy attains his religious maturity and becomes responsible to fulfill all the Torah Commandments at 13. A girl at 12. That means,
(according to the hebrew calendar), this Tuesday, February 1st, 2011 is Mlle. Z's official Bat Mitzvah date. But if she had been a boy, as all my psychic friends had insisted, his Bar Mitzvah date would be next year on Monday, February 20th, 2012.
And here's the thing. At the Bar Mitzvah service there is a prayer
(I can still remember the look of delight in my brother-in-law Brian's eyes when he recited it at the twin's Barmie a year ago) in which he reminded his two sons that he was no longer responsible for their moral decisions. Before reaching the age of maturity, parents are responsible for teaching their children the Jewish law and tradition. Once they enter adulthood, they are given the privilege to take part in all aspects of Jewish community life and carry the responsibility of following Jewish law, tradition and moral obligations. Their deeds, and the deeds' consequences, good or bad, fall on the shoulders of the Bar or Bat Mitvah boy or girl.
What? All of a sudden? Just like that? If we were orthodox, next Tuesday, it's all for real?
Neither Zoe, nor we, were ready to take on, plan and execute a Bat Mitzvah this year. It kind of crept up on us with a little bit of shocking surprise. Also, quite honestly, who am I to pretend that I am orthodox? My religious, moral and ethical mind-set swings far more to the universal. Far more to the Egalitarian. Far more to the 'Hello? This is how I do Jewish'.
So, how was I going to lead my daughter down the path of her Bat Mitzvah?
The only way I knew how.
I knit her a pair of socks.
Seriously.
A pair of hand knit socks.
Made from wool, cotton and soysilk.
These socks are not just pretty designs and colours. Zoe's Torah Portion is Parashat Terumah. As part of the offerings to Moses, the children of Israel are meant to bring blue, purple, and crimson wool, and ram skins dyed red. The colours of the socks include all these colours.
I am telling her: don't just talk the talk of a Bat Mitzvah. I want you to walk the walk of a Bat Mitzvah.
As she studies her portion over the next year, from age 12 to 13, Zoe will walk in these socks and think about right and wrong. Remember to think before she speaks. Question her actions before she partakes in them. Weigh her options and contemplate her position in this world. Only then, I believe, can she (or anyone, male or female) discern between right and wrong and modify her behaviour accordingly.
She will walk with the footsteps of a woman, not a girl.
An adult, not a child.
Tun-O-Fun by Rebel
Fuzzy Bear by Cindy (Thx Wooly!)
D.D. by Rebel
Amanda by Marilyn
